Self destruction never felt so good.

It's slowly creeping back.

Purging felt so good.

And the pain. Oh, the pain.

It's been a while since I've done this

and I feel horrible about it.

But the pain feels so good.

What have you done to me?

I often teeter between hating him and missing him.

Right now it's hate. Quite a lot of hate.

You can be such a fucking douchebag sometimes...

but I still can't help but be in love with you.

I hate myself for that.

Leave my thoughts. 

Leave my emotions.

Leave my being.

I hate you.

And I love you.

I've come to the conclusion that 

women just think too much about everything

and men hardly ever think at all.

"Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are perishing!'

He said to them, 'Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?'

Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm."

- Matthew 8:24-26

The intuitive part of me says that you like me.

The logical part keeps saying that you're just a nice guy.

My feelings are conflicted.

Hello.